Pain Points
The sun is emitting deadly particles. The human race is due to be separated into protected dome communities. Dan finds himself trapped in his own home with a colleague after an illegal sexual encounter – and mysterious officials have arrived with special suits.
This dark comedy explores the callous and selfish ways in which humans can act when faced with their doom.
CW: Coarse language
DAN: (to SIMON.) You can go now, look. (Holds up the flimsy protective suit.)
SIMON: I’m not paying you.
DAN: You can have it. Free. Means you can get off.
SIMON: I am not touching that. No way am I going / out –
DAN: It’s government tech, man.
SIMON: No.
DAN: Well, I need a fucking break from you. (Starts to put the suit on.)
SIMON: Dan, are you fucking / psychotic –
DAN: This is approved tech, man. I’m going out.
Silence for a while as DAN dons his suit. It looks tight, puny and ridiculous. He goes to the door.
SIMON: Dan, man, come on –
DAN: Right, fucking… listen. I had myself all set up, feeling like I wanted. Doing what I wanted. No regrets. Like, what sort of life are we all gonna have in a couple of months? I’ve been living double speed. Getting shit done. Now this whole shitshow. Cleaned out. What can I do now, man? Like… I just… I dunno… (An appeal.) Simon-
SIMON: This was all you, yeah? Dunno what you’re looking at me / for –
DAN: ‘Cos you’re still, fucking… here! Invading my space! Why didn’t you just LEAVE? You knew what this was. What signs was I giving you that… But you give me my last sorry shag, then you get yourself stuck here and the whole thing goes to shit. Like, the whole thing. Fuck are you doing staring at me? Like it’s fucking weird or something? How was I gonna meet anyone else before we’re caged up? And who the fuck is there gonna be after? You shat on my last happy memory. So thanks.
(He turns to the door.) Gonna be out all day. You best be gone when I get back.
SIMON watches in silence as DAN slowly heads to the decontamination chamber. He turns back.
Sun goes down, you get gone.
A couple more steps. He turns again, looking back over the sea of spilled coffee beans.
You gonna clean up? That’s your mess you made.
He opens the inner door of the decontamination chamber, steps in and it closes behind him. Opens the outer door. Steps outside. Outer door shuts. SIMON stands still for a while, then slowly goes to start scooping up coffee beans with his hands. Suddenly, he changes his mind and drops the beans.
SIMON: (To himself.) Nah, fuck you man.
He heads towards the coffee machine with determination. He trashes it – mashing the buttons, turning on jets of steam – just making a huge mess. He keeps going and going, really beating the shit out of it.
Suddenly, the intercom screen by the decontamination chamber starts flashing white on and off.
SIMON stares at it.
© Caroline Lamb 2020
Caroline Lamb 